Big Trouble in Little China: Damn, I Love Jack Burton

What’s that!? Could it be!!?? It is! Epic Movie Bonanza is back in action! This time around I watched one of my favorite cult classics, Big Trouble in Little China (1986). This campy action/comedy flick has nearly everything I crave in a good 80’s movie. It’s got a bad ass, over-the-top main character, an awesome villain, and lots of hilarious one-liners. Combine that with dark magic, gunfights and karate and you’ve got yourself a good ‘un!

Background

Magic! Gunfights! Kurt Russell!

 

In Big Trouble in Little China, Kurt Russell plays Jack Burton: a tough-talking truck driver who only looks out for himself. While making a regular trip into a Chinese community in California, he runs into an unfortunate and outrageous chain of events. Burton is forced to go against his nature and help his friend Wang save his fiance from a kidnapping, fight a century-old Chinese sorcerer, and save the entire world!

 

Jack Burton Kicks Ass

HAHHHHHHH!

Every once in a while I see a movie where the central protagonist (or the actor playing them) just makes the entire movie work…this is the case in Big Trouble in Little China. Kurt Russell was cast perfectly for this part. I like the fact that unlike many action movie heroes, Jack Burton always seems to say what any normal person would say when faced with crazy events. Seeing him in all these inexplicable situations is funny as shit, because he always says things like, “what the hell is going on?!” and, “I just want my truck and I want to get the hell out of here!”.

What You Can Expect

One of the ‘Three Storms’ about to whoop a$$.

Here is a basic rundown of what you can expect from this movie:

-Lo-Pan: He is a pretty awesome villain, there’s the “little old basket case on wheels” version of him and the “10 foot tall road block” version. In both forms he’s a hilarious and memorable character.

-Flying sword fights: Yeah, it happens!

-Jack Burton’s awesome one-liners: The movie is full of them. From dealing with bad guys to woo-ing the ladies, ole’ Jack’s got some kind of memorable sarcastic thing to say.

-Magic 80’s-style lightning special effects: Some people may say the director used too much of it…I say just enough!

-The Three Storms: These guys remind me of Mortal Kombat characters, which I liked!

 

As always, thanks for reading. If you want updates on new posts, follow the Epic Movie Bonanza Facebook Page.

If you’ve got a movie you think I should review, or just want to comment on something you read, please use the comment section or post on the Facebook page!

 

 

Bad Ass Movie Quotes from Sweet Awesome Movies

Hello gang! Did ya miss me!? I apologize for the lapse in time between my last post, but I’m back!

I thought I’d stray a little from my usual underrated movie reviews and share some of my all time favorite quotes from movies. These quotes are not in any way ranked from best to worst, or top five or anything, (because it would be too hard to decide) they’re just some of my favorites. Also, I’d like to note that I could make an entire post (and I may) about ALL of the quotes from these movies, but I purposely chose only one from each to keep things funky! Another side note is that I took these from primarily action/adventure movies. If you happen to discover a movie you haven’t seen while reading, please check it out as they are all great films. Let’s get it poppin’!

Tombstone – Hell’s Coming With Me

So If I WAS going to make a ‘top 5’ list of movie quotes, this one would in fact be included. Tombstone is the story of famous gunfighter and lawman, Wyatt Earp, played by Kurt Russell. Throughout the movie Earp and his brothers have a running conflict with the infamous Cowboys outlaw gang. Earp tries to stay out of the conflict for a long while, but in this scene he finally lays out an ultimatum to one of the Cowboys. Like I said, I could totally do an entire post about the quotes from this movie alone, but we’ll just stick to this one for now. Kurt Russell looks truly insane in this scene, and I flipping love it.

Apocalypse Now – Smelled Like Victory

Apocalypse Now is a movie about a man on a special mission during the Vietnam war. Martin Sheen plays the determined Captain Willard, who meets all kinds of characters during his mission. One of which, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, played by Robert Duvall, has a love for the smell of Napalm, especially in the morning. This scene sets the tone for the weird, macabre type of atmosphere Captain Willard will have to endure.

Full Metal Jacket – Get Some! Get Some!

This movie is yet another Vietnam war story. It follows a platoon of marines through the basic training process and into their deployment. The main Character, Private Joker, is played by Matthew Modine. Private Joker becomes a battlefield reporter; he writes stories about how the war is going on the front lines. At one point he’s being flown to a new area by helicopter where he meets a war-crazed M60 gunner who’s cutting down ‘enemies’ left and right. This is where the famous line, “Get some! Get some!” comes from.

My favorite part of this scene is actually what he says after that, when he prompts Private Joker to do a story on him. What he says about shooting people is pretty messed up, but it showcases how war can twist people’s minds…also it appeals to my warped sense of humor. Side note: I’m sure many of you will think, “Why would he choose this scene over the first boot camp scene where the Gunnery Sergeant spouts out all kinds of hilarious insults?”. The only reason I didn’t use that scene is because it’s super long and I wouldn’t have been able to choose just one of his insults!

Gladiator – Are you not entertained?

There’s no doubt that this is a great movie. It won a crap load of awards to prove it. This specific scene makes the list because Russell Crowe gives a great “stick it to the man” type quote at the end of his fight…and you all know by now how I’m a sucker for movies about fighting the system. In this film, Russell Crowe play Maximus, a soldier in ancient Rome who is forced into the gladiator ring when he defies his superior. He hates the fact that he is forced to fight and kill others for the crowd’s entertainment, and in the scene he lets the crowd know how he feels. WARNING: This fight scene is pretty gruesome.

The Boondock Saints-Courtroom Speech

Love, love, LOVE this movie. It encompasses so many of my favorite qualities in a good movie:

-it’s original

-it features two bad-ass, drunken, pissed off, Irishmen on a rampage

-it’s about fighting corruption

-it’s funny!

-Most of all, it’s a cult classic

The Boondock Saints stars Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus as two Irish brothers in Boston who are sent on a mission from God to put a stop to the crime and corruption in their town. They pave a path of destruction as they take on the biggest crime syndicate in the city, finally catching up with the gang’s boss at his trial. There is no one quote from this scene that I’m choosing to point out, just the whole epic speech they give to the courtroom. Enjoy. Also, note that this clip is a bit of a spoiler! If you haven’t seen the movie, you might want to save this one for later!

Thanks for reading guys, if you liked what you saw I hope you’ll foll0w the page, comment on this post, or check out the Epic Movie Bonanza Facebook Page for some great movie conversation and a heads up on new posts!

Memento: It’s All Backwards!

Greetings and salutations once again!

It’s been a long dry spell since my last post, and for that I apologize. Certain things in my personal life (working two jobs and searching for another) have not allowed me much time to review movies. However! I did find time to sit back and watch one of my favorites, Memento (2000). This is a movie that I SHOULD but do not own, so I clicked into my Netflix account to watch this one. I hadn’t seen it in quite some time, so I forgot how weird the storyline was, but by the end I had that, “Ohhhhhh, I see what they did there” moment. Before I divulge too many crucial plot points, let’s dive in!

Background

Leonard leaving himself clues

Memento is the story of a regular guy, Leonard (played by Guy Pearce), who is faced with a very unfortunate series of events. After an incident that resulted in his wife’s death Leonard is left with no long term memory. He remembers everything about his life up until the incident, but he no longer has the ability to make new memories. He can only remember things that happen for a short amount of time, and then they fade. On top of this, Leonard has vowed to find the man responsible for what happened to him, which is a pretty tall order for someone incapable of remembering anything he finds out!

Leonard’s way of dealing with his “condition” is very ingenious, and basically fuels the plot development. Anytime he finds out new information regarding his investigation he leaves himself handwritten notes. This way, every time his memory fades he doesn’t have to start from square one. He also takes pictures of the people he meets, and writes his opinion of them on the back, so if he sees them again and doesn’t remember, he’ll know if they’re trustworthy, dangerous, devious, etc.

It’s All Backwards!

Leonard looking puzzled as s***, but who wouldn’t be!?

It’ll only take you about ten minutes to figure this out, so I don’t feel bad telling you; the whole movie’s backwards! Chronologically speaking, the first scene in the movie is the last thing that happens in the timeline, and the last scene is the first thing that happens…trippy, I know. It’ll mess you up for a little bit and probably frustrate you, but once you start piecing together the chain of events, it’s more fun than annoying. The fact that the movie progresses backwards through time works into the theme of memory and makes for a very unique “mind f***” experience. This is why Memento is one of my favorite movies, because as you watch the movie, you keep finding out more and more about the circumstances that led up to the final scene…which (again) is the first scene in the movie.

Is It Worth Watching?

Well, duh! Otherwise why the hell am I writing this review about it!? Why would you even ask that?? Just kidding guys, but for real, this is a great movie. I’ve always been a fan of Guy Pearce and it’s nice to see him in a leading role for once! He usually play some smart ass lawyer, super old billionaire, or an evil genius (you’ve got to admit, the guy’s got range!) so it’s impressive to see that he does just as well as a leading man. He does a great job of bringing just a little bit of dark humor into the mix so the movie’s not too dry.

This movie is great for the person who:

-Liked Inception or Looper, but was pissed about all the gaping holes in their plots. Memento gives your brain a bit of a workout but keeps all the facts straight in the storyline.

-Wants to see something different. Memento is different than a lot of movies out there, plain and simple. The way it portrays the story without letting you know the big picture until the end is very unique.

-Craves depth in a movie. This film covers quite a few themes, such as memory, personal ethics, and revenge; my personal favorite being memory. Are our memories facts? How much do our desires and personal biases alter them?

As if you needed another reason to watch this movie, it’s directed by Christopher Nolan.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment if you have a movie you’d like reviewed or to share your opinion on Memento. If you liked this post check out the Epic Movie Bonanza Facebook page for some great movie conversation and more reviews!

All pictures borrowed from Google.com.

-EMB

Ed Wood: “The Worst Director of All Time”

Greetings one and all to Epic Movie Bonanza! This time around we dive backwards through time and wind up in 1950’s Hollywood. This movie centers around a cross-dressing failure of a horror film director and his gang of wannabe actors/producers. The funny part is, it’s a true story! So put on your angora sweaters and get ready for Tim Burton’s 1994 film, Ed Wood.

What a Weird Dude!

Ha-Zah!!

Edward Davis Wood Jr. was a low-budget, science fiction/horror film director in the 1950’s. He was responsible for such films as Plan 9 from outer space, Bride of the Monster, and Night of the Ghouls (all of which are just as cheesy as their titles imply). He made a career out of making lame movies, and in 1980 (two years after his death) he was awarded the Golden Turkey Award for being the “Worst Director Ever”…yeah, his movies are that bad. The 1994 movie, Ed Wood, which chronicles the early parts of his career, stars Johnny Depp as the leading cross-dresser. It also features the Principal from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the main chick from Sex and the City. Oh, and let’s not forget Bill Murray! From what I’ve researched about this guy’s life, the movie is a pretty accurate depiction of his early career, which is hard to believe since the events of the film are so outrageous!

Is It Really Awesome, or Really Stupid?

…There Are No Words To Describe This

This is the question I kept asking myself while watching this movie. Johnny Depp’s acting style in this film is so over the top that I could never figure out if he was doing an amazing job at portraying Ed Wood or if he was purposely trying to be funny. Either way, it worked. This movie was very intriguing, and it had me google-searching his biography faster than a catfish eats his oatmeal!…(What??)

Right from the start of this movie I knew it was going to be weird; the intro starts with some retro science fiction music and a cheesy horror film set with a guy popping out of a coffin. Once it got rolling though, I couldn’t help but love the quirky main character. It’s like, in every scene I would find out something more weird about him and go, “What!? No way!” and then troll the internet searching for if it was true or not.

The Bottom Line

Just Chillin’

What I really liked about this movie was its originality. It is a weird story about a weird real-life dude with weird people, and I loved it! I laughed my ass off for nearly the whole movie, just because Depp’s character is so ridiculously bad at directing. The scenes where they’re making the movies were the best, because you can’t help but think that there’s no way these terrible films were made, but they most certainly were! If you like Johnny Depp, or are just looking for an odd, off-the-wall movie for the night, this is a good one. OH and by the way, it won a few awards as well! If you’re interested in learning more about this legendary director/cross-dresser, and all around weirdo, check out Ed Wood’s Biography Page

As always, thanks for reading! Please comment if you have suggestions for movies that I should review, or just to speak your mind. Follow the EMB blog or the facebook group for updates and exhilarating movie discussion!

Enjoy the movie!

-EMB

The Toxic Avenger: One of the Best and Worst Movies Ever Made

Hey there, EMB fans! Welcome to another installation of Epic Movie Bonanza! Before we dive into this week’s weird-ass 80’s movie, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the people following this blog. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. Now…let’s press on to this week’s movie pick: The Toxic Avenger (1984).

I literally stumbled upon this movie while searching for something else on my Netflix account, and the description sounded so ridiculous that I had to watch it. For the first 15-20 minutes I thought it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The production quality is horrible, the acting is worse, and the plot is damn-near nonexistent. HOWEVER. Once the initial build up was over and the movie got into full swing, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe until the ending credits rolled.

The Plot, the Whole Plot, and Nothing But the Plot

Yup. This Pretty Much Says It All.

The Toxic Avenger is about a geeky janitor at a local fitness club named Melvin who is bullied by the a-hole muscle-head wannabes that frequent the gym. By the way, there are no notable actors, or even character actors in this film so I won’t bother saying who played what part. Anyway, so Melvin the lowly janitor continues to get bullied by basically everybody in the gym until one of their pranks lands him face first in a vat of toxic waste…typical, right?

OBVIOUSLY this toxic green slime causes him to mutate, burst into flames, and then ultimately turn into a big buff crime-fighting machine that looks like The Hulk’s inbred cousin. After this all goes down is when the movie actually gets good (if you can call it that). From then on the Toxic Avenger basically goes around kicking the crap out of any and all criminals and bad guys. They somewhat explain why he has the craving to kill bad people, but I’m not even going to justify their explanation with an explanation.

Why Even Bother?

Mopping Up Crime!

I know I started out by saying that this movie was bad, which it is, but it’s also hilarious. I actually got the feeling that they knew this while making it, and purposely made the acting and storyline 100% over the top just for the comedic effect. I wouldn’t put this one at the top of your watch list by any means, but if it’s a rainy day and you’re looking for a goofy movie to watch then this is a good one. As an added bonus, if you are consuming alcohol during the viewing of this flick or if you’re already halfway drunk when you start it you’ll REALLY laugh your ass off.

As I said, there is basically no plot. Hell, half the fun was trying to figure out what the point was and where the story was going to go; I just enjoyed watching “Toxie” go around and kill people in ridiculous ways! Some notable deaths include a man having his hands deep fried at a taco shop (which somehow causes death) , another man having his eyes gouged out, and a third one being made into a human milk shake.

To Sum It Up

This movie:

-Has outrageous fight/death scenes.

-Features the largest amount of over-acting I’ve ever seen.

-WILL make you laugh IF you find weird, 80’s, b-grade, cult classic movies funny (and who doesn’t!?)

-Apparently has a bunch of sequels, which I will now watch!

-Has NO PROBLEM showing boobs, gore, drugs, and all other usually off-limit things.

-Made me laugh my ass off, and if you give it a chance when you’re bored one night, you’ll do the same.

Thanks for reading everyone, if you like the blog you should follow the Epic Movie Bonanza facebook page for some good movie talk and updates on posts! As always, if you have any thoughts on a movie I should review leave me a comment and I’ll check it out!

Enjoy the movie!

-EMB

All pictures borrowed from http://www.google.com

Equilibrium: A Doped-Up Dystopian Future

Welcome once again to Epic Movie Bonanza; The place where underrated movies come to get their second life!

On a friend’s recommendation I checked out a film that I feel I should have seen years ago. This movie was made in 2002, features some seriously kick-ass gunfights, takes place in a dystopian government controlled future, and stars Christian Bale. So how in the hell did it take me a decade to see this movie, or even hear about it!? I don’t know the answer to that, but what I can say is that this movie was definitely epic.

Notes and Warnings

Before I start this one off I have to add in this section with the government approved warnings, sorry, new regulations:

WARNING: This movie contains an awesome plot/theme but has VERY bad CGI shots of the futuristic world, LOOK PAST THE BAD CGI.

WARNING: This movie contains Christian Bale playing a role that at times seems like a blatant copy of Neo from the Matrix…it is not a copy, please LOOK PAST IT.

WARNING: The “futuristic” cars in this movie are very clearly just tricked out all-white Cadillacs. Again, please look past it to enjoy the awesomeness of this movie.

Now, you’re probably thinking a few things, like, “those are most definitely not government approved warnings” and “if I have to tell myself to look past these problems, why even watch this shitty movie?”. I totally understand why you would think those things, but trust me, if you can take note of these few things and ignore them, the symbolism, plot, acting, themes, and gunfighting will kick your ass so hard you’ll think YOU have been drugged by society.

Background

The Cleric, about to clean house.

Equilibrium is set in the future (duh) after a supposed third world war. After said war, the new self-appointed government decides that the best way to stop any further war or violence, is to sedate the entire population with a beefed up version of an anti-depressant called Prozium. This drug makes sure no one feels anything, ever. No happiness, no sadness, no emotions. In fact, emotions are completely outlawed, along with any items that might provoke emotions (such as paintings, books, music, etc.).

This is where Christian Bale’s character, John Preston, comes into play. Preston is a “Cleric”, which is basically a government agent that tracks down people that are hiding contraband (things that may make someone feel emotions) and opens up a grade-A can of whoop-ass all over their face. As if this plot isn’t weird enough, it really gets crazy when Preston accidentally misses a couple doses of his Prozium and starts experiencing emotions for the first time. These emotions drive him to fight the system he once helped maintain.

Themes and Whatnots

Feel THIS!

This movie is ripe with themes and symbolism, so let’s take a second to point out some my favorites:

-The entire population is brainwashed. This is a satire of our current society and its people turning a blind-eye to the way things are being run. This also ties in with the movie’s connection to religion as well. The government leader in the movie is referred to only as “Father”, which, in my opinion, is a pretty clear representation of the “heavenly father”.

In the movie, Father tells his people how to act, what to believe, and assures them that he is all powerful and that his way is the only right way to live. Now this is JUST MY OPINION, but that sounds a lot like any religion (telling its people how to live/act, preaching that their way is the only way, etc.).

Preston, and his fellow head-hunting-type government agents are aptly called “clerics” carrying out Father’s will…making yet another tie to religion. When Preston communicates with his boss, he is constantly asked if he has faith in Father’s will. This is the same as a religion asking someone to believe in whatever god or prophet they follow.

-Visual symbolism. This movie is rich with symbolism; I don’t want to ruin the experience for you, but you’ll be able to pick it out when you watch it! (i.e. colors representing different tones)

-Feelings. Preston represents the opposite of what the government wants, someone who breaks the mold and thinks for himself. This is yet another satire of our current society and how we are pushed to feel or think a certain way.

Screw Kung-Fu, It’s All About GUN-Fu

Gun-Kata

The gunfighting technique used by the Clerics in the film is called “Gun Kata”. At first I thought it was a little corny and stupid, but once I saw Bale clearing rooms of bad guys in mere seconds, I found myself practicing my own Gun-Kwan-Doh with my Nerf arsenal.

In the film they explain that through years of research on firefights they have come up with the most statistically effective way to dispatch enemies while taking minimal damage…pretty awesome, I know. It just so happens that this style of gun play looks freaking awesome at the same time! Bale just comes busting into rooms spraying bullets like a mad man and in a couple seconds he’s the only one left! PLUS, the guns that he uses are pretty sweet as well.

Why You Should Take Your Dose

What this movie lacks in CGI it makes up for in its originality and action sequences. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a big fan of “fight the power” type movies and this one delivers that style but with a second storyline about John Preston learning to feel for the first time. It’s a good blend between action, drama, and suspense. I recommend this movie to anyone looking for some good ass-kicking scenes, mixed with an original storyline.

Epic Movie Bonanza now has a facebook page! Follow it to get easy updates on the blog and for some awesome movie conversation.

That’s all for this edition of EMB, thanks for reading and enjoy the movie!

All pictures borrowed from http://www.google.com.

-EMB

Does John Actually Die At The End?

Hello again friends, and welcome to another riveting installment of Epic Movie Bonanza! This time around we delve into a movie that deals with some seriously weird stuff…I’m talking mind-reading, alternate dimensions, drugs, the whole nine yards! Let me just say that not only was I impressed by this movie, I freaking loved it!

After watching and reviewing one of my all time favorites, Bubba Ho-Tep, I started looking into some of the other movies directed by Don Coscarelli. It turns out he also directed the Phantasm movies (you know, the ones with that crazy flying ball that sucks out your brains!?) , and a number of other horror flicks including this week’s pick, John Dies at the End. Coscarelli has made a career out of off-beat, weird horror movies, and this one fits right in with his others. Much in the fashion of Bubba Ho-Tep this movie has a little bit of horror blended with a large dose of comedy and adventure. But enough with the opening credits, let’s get this baby going.

Background

This picture doesn’t even begin to explain how far-out this movie is!

John Dies at the End (2012) is actually based off a book by the same name. The book was based off a web comic series of the very SAME name (Cool right!?). The film follows the misadventures of two best friends, Dave and John (played by Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes). These two are amateur paranormal investigators that get sucked into a chain of events they could have never imagined. After John tries a mysterious drug called “Soy Sauce” and begins experiencing things beyond his explanation, it’s up to Dave to find out just what the hell is happening to his friend. But once Dave ingests some of the drug himself, things really get bat-shit crazy. Oh by the way, as you can see from the picture Paul Giamatti is also in this movie, which only adds to the awesomeness.

“The Sauce”

Dave gets his first look at some Soy Sauce

This weird drug (that actually does look like soy sauce) opens doors that others can never see and gives the user powers that they can’t explain. This is the real driver of the movie. All of the odd events that follow are based on them taking this drug. At first I thought this was going to make for a weak story, but I was dead wrong.

The storyline evolves throughout the movie and continues to encompass more and more “big picture” ideas. There are some pretty trippy scenes that had me questioning my very existence!…alright maybe I didn’t get THAT into it, but I was definitely intrigued. By the time I was halfway through the movie I didn’t know where the hell the soy sauce was going to take me!

Why You Should Take The Journey

Epic.

Here’s a quick rundown of why you should make John Dies at the End the next thing you watch:

-For a smaller budget film, it really had pretty good special effects.

-The two main actors, Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes  are hilarious! I’ve never heard of either of these guys before but they really did a good job.

-There’s a lot of weird/supernatural stuff that goes on that will keep you guessing. I have to warn you though, just because something happens in one scene does NOT mean it will have any bearing on the following scene or, for that matter, anything else in the movie. This seems weird (because it is), but you’ll understand once you’re watching it!

-The locations used in this movie are outstanding. Every scene’s setting helps fit the mood of the film. You can tell that they didn’t spend a lot of money on sets or props, but I liked that everything was shot on-location, it made the story more believable.

So What’s With the Title?

The title is what first intrigued me about this movie. I was like, “Well, that just gave away the ending.” But it really doesn’t.

So, DOES John die at the end?…find out! You owe it to yourself to at least check out the first 10 minutes of this movie and I guarantee you’ll be sold. Coscarelli took a truck load of obscure ideas, swirled them into one big mind-f***, and injected them with Soy Sauce to create this epic trip down the rabbit hole.

Thanks for reading, Enjoy!

-EMB

P.S. There is now an Epic Movie Bonanza facebook page! Follow the page to discover even more unknown movies and get info on upcoming reviews!

All pictures borrowed from http://www.google.com

Bubba Ho-Tep: Hail To The King, Baby

Greetings and salutations fellow movie lovers!

For this week’s underrated film, I chose to unveil to the world one of my all time favorite cult classic movies. It’s got comedy, it’s got a wee bit of suspense/horror, and best of all, it’s got Elvis. I’m talking about the 2002 movie, Bubba Ho-Tep, starring the great Bruce Campbell. I hadn’t seen this movie in quite a while, and I’d actually kind of forgotten about it, but when a comment on my last blog recommended I review it, I could tell it was a sign from the almighty King of Rock himself that it must be done.

Background

The King in his prime.

Now, I feel like Bubba Ho-Tep is one of those movies that you can’t watch without at least a little knowledge on it; otherwise you’ll just end up saying, “what the hell is this movie about?” There’s no good way for me to explain it without sounding ridiculous, so I’m not even going to try and sugar coat it.

Let’s set the scene! It’s present day. Elvis isn’t dead. He’s in a rest home in East Texas, and he and JFK (oh, by the way he’s not dead either…and he’s black) must fight off an ancient evil Egyptian mummy who starts wreaking havoc at their old folks home, sucking out seniors’ souls and whatnot…via their buttholes. GOD, I love this movie. Don’t worry, if you’re thinking, “Well obviously this isn’t a well thought-out storyline,” then you’re wrong! Believe it or not they actually somewhat explain why these two are in said rest home and why people are being butthole soul-raped.

By now you have to be a little interested in this movie, if not at least curious.

I’m in Love and All Shook Up…Over This Movie!

Takin’ Care of Business

Simply put, this is an awesome movie. I will say, if you’re not a fan of cult classic movies, or if you’re not at least willing to take a chance on an off-beat original movie then you probably won’t get a lot of enjoyment of out this one. But then again, if you don’t like off-beat cult classic type movies then you probably wouldn’t be reading this in the first place!

Bubba Ho-Tep is one of those movies that will leave you with a bunch of hilarious one-liners that almost NO ONE will know when you try to use them in the real world. At the same time, these are the type of quotes that make my co-workers give me a weird stare when I start spontaneously laughing at my desk because I was re-watching a scene in my mind.

For example: at one point in the film Elvis’ nurse has to administer some medication to his private parts and he accidentally becomes aroused. He says (in his mind), “They’re had been two presidential elections since I’d had a boner like that one.” I realize that line is only mildly funny, but you have to picture an elderly Elvis Presley thinking it to himself.

Speaking of the narration, it’s hilarious! Most of the talking in the movie is actually Elvis’ inner-monologue. He’s so blunt about everything; and it’s just plain awesome to hear Elvis say dirty things. Here’s a good example of it (this is the same scene I referred to above, just a little earlier on):

Why You Should Check It Out

I think what I really love about this movie the most is the premise. It’s just such an outrageous idea for a movie that it was bound to be funny as hell. Elvis’ narration is definitely a seller too. Bruce Campbell does such an awesome job acting like Elvis that by the end of the movie he had me gyrating and hip-swinging all over my living room. If you’re in the mood for a weird, funny, tongue-in-cheek horror movie, then you should definitely watch this one.

Thanks for reading folks, and enjoy the movie! Be sure to follow the blog for more unknown epic movies and feel free to leave a comment if you have one you think I should feature.

Images borrowed from Google.com. Video clip borrowed from Youtube.com

Ned Kelly: The True Story of Australia’s Original Badass

First of all, WELCOME! This is my first official post for Epic Movie Bonanza, where all movies are certified epic.

I have to say, I am a fan of “hidden gem” movies that I find on my own whilst browsing through IMDB or Netflix. I feel some sort of weird pride when only I have seen some undiscovered movie that everyone later realizes is awesome. Then I go around trying to somehow take ownership of the movie once it is popular with my friends by saying things like, “Yeah, well, I saw that MONTHS ago..BEFORE it was cool,” or “Well, I was into zombie movies WAY before everybody else was”. Lame and immature, I know, but I can’t help it! When I find an unknown indie movie with an A-list star as the main character, or a ridiculously bad/funny ‘supposed to be scary’ movie, I get so excited I have to open another four beers just to calm down!

The most recent experience I’ve had like this happened to me with the 2003 film, Ned Kelly. I found it while I was randomly scrolling through Heath Ledger’s movie history on Wikipedia; I was only doing this because I was watching The Dark Knight, which also stars Heath Ledger…and is also awesome.

Let’s Get Started

Can you feel the epic-ness?

Ned Kelly stars the late, great Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom as poor-ass Irishmen living in the only place where rodents are six feet tall and everything is trying to kill you, Australia. Essentially the movie is the true story of the REAL Ned Kelly, Australia’s original badass. Now, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what an Australian badass was like (Mad Max, Steve Irwin, the voice-over guy for the Outback Steakhouse commercials) but Ned Kelly was the real deal. I’m talking a bar fighting, bank robbing, cop ass-beating, girl stealing hero of the people.

In the movie, Kelly (played by Ledger) rides around the 1870’s outback with a gang of his buddies being an outlaw, doing outlaw things (as previously mentioned) and everybody loves him for it! I would tell you all the cool stuff the infamous Mr. Kelly does, but that would ruin the movie.

While there are exciting parts, I don’t want to lead you on; this is not a “thrill-a-minute”, shoot-em up action movie. It’s more of a mix of drama, action, adventure and humor.

Why You Should Watch Ned Kelly

Ned Kelly and his gang have a stand-off in the woods

What really pulled me into this movie was its originality. I thought it was a very cool idea for a story, and then I found out it was a TRUE story and I was reeled in quicker than a dude pretending to be a chick on the show Catfish. Hell, half the  fun in watching this movie was looking up all the real stuff Ned Kelly did which, believe me, there is a lot of. Also, I’ve always liked “stick it to the man” type movies such as V for Vendetta and the like, in which the main character fights a corrupt government. Make no mistake, these two movies are very different, but they are both based around flipping the bird to the government and fighting injustice. Without giving too much away, I also loved the fact that Kelly doesn’t become an outlaw because he’s a bad guy, or because he doesn’t want to do honest work, but because he is so fed up with being pushed around and abused by the local authorities that he is forced to fight back.

If you like an adventurous, “fight the power” type movie (which also features outlaws and gunfights!) then this is a good one for you to check out. It’s got a good story and it’s a cool little piece of Aussie history you might not have heard about. After watching this movie, I was very impressed and was surprised I’d never heard of it. I can understand why it wasn’t a blockbuster when it came out because of its small amount of A-list actors and its semi-slow pace, but for me the historical accuracy, realism, and originality of the film was enough to make me raise my beer mug to the ceiling in toast to Australia’s original badass: Ned Kelly. And yes, I really did that at the end of the movie.

To wrap it up!

This movie:

-Is very original

-Is action/adventure/drama oriented

-Has some big name actors that will surprise you

-Is a true story!

If you decide to take a chance on this movie I am 98% sure you won’t be disappointed.

I want to personally thank you for visiting Epic Movie Bonanza! I’ll be posting a new movie every week for your viewing pleasure! If you have a little-known epic movie that you want me to feature, leave me a comment and I’ll check it out!

BTW, here are some of the pages I found when looking into the history of Ned Kelly, enjoy!

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/nedkelly.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Kelly

Pictures from the movie, Ned Kelly borrowed from Google.com